Secret Underpants

I have Bill Blass's underpants,
Sky blue with a bright white band.
I wear them only rarely,
And I wash them out by hand.

I guess when I was buying clothes,
There in the fitting rooms,
I picked Bill's pants up by mistake,
And he got my Fruit of the Looms.

Now, Bill had put his name on his.
I dropped the ball that time.
He was sure more proud of his underpants
Than I ever was of mine.

My pants must be quite loose on him.
He's svelte--he's got to be.
His underwear was not designed
For my rotundity.

I don't wear Bill's briefs when I go out
To walk around the square.
--Get hit by a truck and the world would think
That I wear blue underwear!

I fear to die in that attire,
And face my Maker's whim.
God would say, "You've got Bill's undies on!
Go give them back to him!"

^__Max Yoho.