|Jim Jacobs was a fiend for speed,
And so he sold his spavined steed
And put a mortgage on his land
And borrowed cash on every hand;
Then with the money went and bought
Himself a rattly juggernaut.
At first he seemed contented when
He killed a neighbor's setting hen,
But as the passion stronger grew
He paralyzed a dog or two.
From bad to worse Jim quickly went
Upon his deadly mission bent,
Till he would wink and slyly laugh
When he could crush a yearling calf.
One day, while driving into town
He ran a horse and buggy down,
Then turned and charged with honking loud
Upon an inoffensive crowd,
Which filled the air with dying groans
And shrieks and wails and crunch of bones.
The sheriff came and captured Jim
And put the comealongs on him,
So now he languishes in jail
For lack of forty thousand bail.
Verdigris Valley Verse
(Coffeyville, Kansas: The Journal Press. 1917)