When It Gets Wet In Kansas

A companion piece to
when "It Gets Dry in Kansas."
When it gets wet in Kansas,
What awful times we have:
There's no balm for our feelin's,
No antidote, or salve.
We pray for sun tomorrow,
We hope the rain is done,
And then tomorrow mornin'
We find it's jes' begun.

When it gets wet in Kansas,
The clouds jes' tumble down;
They drown the drouthy croakers
'N' sweep each river town,
'N' sidewalks, barns 'n' bridges
'N' trees and houses go,
Bound for the Mississippi,
All stringin' in a row.

The catfish plow the cornfields,
The ducks roost on the barn,
'N' farmers on the prairies
(This ain't no Kansas yarn)
They tie their calves 'n' chickens
'N' pigs 'n' colts in twos,
'N' spike 'em to the housetops
To keep 'em from the "dews."

Some fellers try to plow then,
But then it ain't no use,
Fer every one that tries it
Jes' proves himself a goose.
Fer scratches turn to gullies,
'N' gullies turn to cricks^___
When it gets wet in Kansas
It plays all kinds o' tricks.

So when the corks o' heaven
Are all pulled out^___jes' wait
'N' quit prognosticatin'
'N' git resigned to fate:
Fer pious prayers er cussin'
Will never lift the cup.
When it gets wet in Kansas
It's bound to soak things up.

^__Ed Blair.

Sunflower Siftings
Ed Blair
(Boston: The Gorham Press. 1914)
Pages 162-163