Poetry of Kansas

A Chicken Pie.

Ye good folks of Chetopa,
    Give ear unto my song,
Which if not wise or witty,
    Will not be very long.
Our city boasts a preacher
    Who is in doctrines sound
An Anak in proportions,___
    His weight two hundred pound.
He hates all kinds of folly,
    But tries to love the sinner___
Besides, he loves most dearly
    A chicken for his dinner.
One morn he went forth slily
To his coop with foul intent,
Where sat the hen, not dreaming
    What the smiling parson meant.
With silent hands he seized her,
    When, lo ! out came her tail,
And the chicken slipped out quickly
    Thru a hole in a broken rail.
Away went that old chicken
    In double-quick 'round the church;
Not much was the parson going
    To be left thus in the lurch.
As his Dutch rose higher and higher
    He pulled his stove-pipe down,
And began a race as thrilling
    As Gilpin's, of world renown.
Still faster ran the chicken,
    On its way from street to street,
Behind on came the parson
    With faster flying feet.
As onward ran the chicken
    And behind the parson flew,
Now scores of men and women
    Came out the scene to view.
He lost his shining "beaver"___
    For this he cared not a fig;
But all his patience left him,
    When flying went his wig.
But onward went pursuer,
    And onward went pursued;___
Not thus would run a preacher
    After other kind of food.
Long while the race seemed equal___
    At last the scale was turned___
And the parson seized the chicken,
    For which his hands had burned.
Alas for that old chicken.
    She shortly had to die;
The following day for dinner
    We had a chicken-pie.
Now, chickens, all take warning,
    Keep out of a preacher's way,
Or with your bones all meatless
    You will ever rue the day.
A word to you, dear parsons,
    If you would never fail
To have a hen for dinner,
    Don't catch her by the tall.
__J. M. Cavaness.

Jayhawker Juleps
J. M. Cavaness
(Chanute: Tribune Pub. Co. 1913)
Pages 45-46

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March 16, 2003 / John & Susan Howell / Wichita, Kansas / howell@kotn.org

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