Our Scenery SpoilersIn good old U. S. A. We traveled full ten thousand miles By auto all the way. We wished to see the cataracts, The rivers and the bays, The mountain scenery, the lakes, And how our country lays. We sought the Alleghanies first, Where signboards told us that The Strawboard line of breakfast food Would make lean persons fat. And Hinkum's Pills would cure a cold, Directions in the top; And Rinkey-Dinkey's Hotel near Was just the place to stop. We visited the battlegrounds Of old Colonial Days; And found, that Smearem's creamy paste, For skin, beats violet rays. And suds from Dashes Bubble Soap Rubbed on would give us vigor; And we must eat Husk's Peanut Shells If we would grow no bigger. They haven't screened the prairies yet From those who view the plains, In places, one can see between The "ads" for Piles and Pains. . And as we thread the highway to Pike's Peak and Mount Rainier, The scenic spots are just beyond "Drink Swiggem's Never Beer." There's thousands more of signs that help To make the tourist sad, When he is spending hard earned dough And, some of them get mad. And some of them speak naughty words, And speak them, too, out loud. The chaps that mar our scenery Will lose out with our crowd! __Ed Blair |
Random Rhymes
Ed Blair
(Spring Hill, Kansas: New Era Publishing Co. 1939)
Page 92
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